The Twelve Days of Clitmas: 1st Day
Look, we can’t deny the Boris-faced, virus-infested elephant in the room that this year hasn’t been great. But in the spirit of holiday cheer, I thought I would offer a bit of light relief from all of that by giving you a carefully crafted selection of holiday gifts. Yes, that’s right, I am joining the canon of Destiny’s Child, The Muppets and carol singers far and wide to give you my take on the Twelve Days of Christmas; the aptly named Twelve Days of Clitmas. For the last few weeks, I have been gathering nuggets of both wisdom and fun from many wonderful people, which I (your true love) will give to you (our Clitbait readers) as festive treats for the next twelve days. From holiday recipes, to wild swimming spots, to tips for a more pleasurable sex life, I hope there will be something in this for everyone! So, get the chestnuts roasting as I pop these gifts under the metaphorical tree and let’s end the year with a smile.
On the first day of Clitmas my true love sent to me…
A tried and tested mulled wine recipe:
In the absence of the chaotic joy that is Christmas markets this year, my first gift to you is a mulled wine recipe that can be made straight from the comfort of your own stove. This recipe was kindly given to me by a good friend who has been drinking mulled wine with me since October. Though he is a hardened expert by now, for the most part, the rest of us are mere mortals. Boiling bitter liquid burning the top of your mouth sound familiar? (Or is this drink just really not my strong suit?) ANYWAY, in the spirit of foolproof gift giving, I asked my friend for any big no nos we should be aware of when trying this at home. In true festive style he replied, “the only one I can think of is putting less than two bottles of wine in.” So, there you have it my friends, unscrew a few, chuck it all in the pan and indulge in the mull!
2 bottles of Chianti
3 cinnamon sticks
2 star anise
1 sliced orange
1 sliced lemon
200g brown sugar
A splash of Disaronno if you’re feeling cheeky
Heat the wine until hot BUT NOT TOO HOT, then turn down to a simmer and add the rest (except the Disaronno)…. NOW add the Disaronno when just about to serve and only if you are feeling cheeky. Ps: peel the fruit to avoid bitterness.
Beth Simpson, Society and Community Editor
Image also by the wonderful Beth!