I’m too dyslexic for uni

I’m too dyslexic for uni

I’m too dyslexic for uni
a source on marriage and sacrament in Spain in the 1500s looks smudged
But it’s on a computer screen
I want to scream

I’m too dyslexic for uni
The walls of my room are shrinking
I just want to finish this fucking reading
Before tomorrow
So i can sleep

Before my eyes get so heavy that they fall to my toes

Its 13 pages
I have read one and a half
The rest is miles away
Stretched out like the desert
Or a really flat field that you look out at and feel like you could just walk off the end of the earth

I’m too dyslexic for uni
I started writing this because i was fuming, panicking, needed to be calmed
Now i just feel embarrassed
because i just considered writing that i’d thought to call up my grandma to read it to me
Then i stopped

This is so embarrassing

I’m too dyslexic for uni
My chat with the disability service is on Monday
But even once i get extra time what are they gonna do
Get someone to fucking read these journal articles to me?

I feel like i don’t belong here unless i can do the readings
I’m studying history so should be able to do them no problem
History is all about books
Layered with dust and old white men’s semen

So i guess i don’t
I don’t belong here.
But i find it so interesting
The one and a half pages i read on a trans man called Eleno in the 1580s was fascinating
So maybe i do

I wish they did audiobooks of historical sources…

Lilah Hyman