Dear Present Me, you are allowed good sex
So I had sex last night, after months of torturing myself with that “I need to get laid” mindset. But now post sex, I guess I’m just a bit disappointed. And it’s got me thinking – have I ever actually left a sexual encounter thinking ‘fuck that was awesome?’ The answer would be no, not really. We live in a society where girls are pressured to fake their orgasms but I think it’s important to realise that 75% of women never orgasm from sexual intercourse alone. A fact equally crucial to recognise is that sex is not necessarily always a perfect experience, and we should feel comfortable to tell our friends “yeah actually I didn’t have such a great time last night”. But most of all, why shouldn’t we tell our sexual partner that we’re not enjoying something they’re doing? A worry of shaming them or making them feel bad probably. But really, the only way to get over bad sex is to speak up and be honest with what you want. Only by accepting that it’s totally normal to have a lot of shitty experiences and by asking for what we need, can we reduce the stigma surrounding bad sex.